not of this world..

I want to live my life so much different than what this world tells me to live my life. The way that the world tells us to live our lives is so unfilling and worthless. I don't want to appear as if I am of this world at all. The road that Christ has called me to follow him on is completely not of this world at all. I love it though b/c it is dangerous and requires trust and faith! It is such an adventure and so fulfilling! It really is beyond me!

School has started and life is definitely busy..I think that I am really going to like my classes..which is definitely exciting! One thing that God keeps pressing upon my heart is to continue to be available to Him..so important..I am really excited to see the doors that God is going to open for relationships with people..ahh..it makes me so excited!! :) It is so stinkin amazing how much God instills His passions for people in your heart when your heart becomes one with His. People are so intresting...I know that sounds so weird but I really enjoy people watching and watching the way people interact with each other and treat each other when they don't think anyone is even watching!

Moving right along...

Moving on is sometimes the hardest thing in life. Summer is pretty much over and I have got to move on and I must say that it has been really pretty hard, but when I was running yesterday I was thinking about what was ahead of me and just about what I have learned this summer and how I know I will have so many incredible opportunites to share with others what I have learned..it's like God is just preparing me for the next thing and He is using people in my life to teach me so much and now it is my turn to be a good steward of what I have learned. So my attitude is starting to change and I am actually getting excited for what is ahead and I know that if I allow God to use me then he will.. HOLY SMOKES..that is exciting.. So I guess moving on is bittersweet! :) I have so much joy in my heart right now that I cannot even express..it really is overwhelming me right now!

Another thing that is really crazy that it never fails b/c in my head I always picture things going one way but then God is like nope I am going to take you down this road instead and it really is actually soo stinkin sweet and it just makes me not want to worry about tomorrow or the future b/c no matter how I have it planned out or think I know how it is going to go it definitely isn't going to be that way.. but I love it so much b/c I just feel so safe and secure right where I am at..in God's hands!! :) That makes me smile!! :)

Today Rachel, Bonnie, and Tiffany surprised me by coming to Manhattan. It was so great..it bright joy to my heart!

This evening was my first night to return to work at GAP. It really was honestly so great and refreshing to be back. It really is so great how much I enjoy working there. :)

Pictures from the music video..a.k.a. BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!! :)

Ohh man!

It is offical..my internship is over..so so sad. I just cannot even believe it. This summer has gone by so fast it really is so insane. So much has happened in the last eight weeks that seems like it's been 2 years. It really is pretty insane. God has been teaching me so much. Sometimes it is so much that I really can't even grasp it all. I actaully can never grasp all of who God is and I know that I never will be able to either.

Tomorrow I am moving to Manhattan into our new house. I really am pretty excited. I just can't believe that it is here. It is just crazy b/c once I am moved in everything is beginning again and I just cannot believe it. Although life gets so crazy I am reminded of the importance of being available to God..so much growth happens when I allow myself to be available!

Last night was so stinkin incredible..one of my dreams came true..WE MADE A MUSIC VIDEO!! Not even kidding, it was everything and more that I could ever have asked for..Kelsey, Angie, and Jennifer are pretty much amazing and of course Jonny is so incredible for being so patient with us!! :) Words cannot describe this incredible experience!!! HORRAY FOR MUSIC VIDEOS!!! :)

Beauty is???

So what is beauty??  In the world's eyes it is something so much different than what it is in God's eyes..this is something that I have thought, prayed, talked about for so long..some of it is starting to make sense but it has taken TIME..just like everything else in my life..God is starting to mold my heart around the truth of what beauty really is..some day I want to write a book or my sister and I were talking about starting a magazine..that would be pretty sweet.. My hope and prayers are that all the girls of this world would realize what TRUE BEAUTY really is..some day!!

We just got back from camp yesterday. It was a fun, fast, great week..This next week is my last week as an intern..I can't believe how fast this summer has gone..I move back to Manhattan next weekend..wow! I am excited but I just can't believe it!

Rish was in town yesterday and today..it was so incredible to see her..man..I just love her! I just miss her when she isn't around!!

restless

So once again I am up at late hours of the night b/c I can't sleep..I am restless...I don't know what is wrong with me..this isn't normal...most of the time the second my head hits the pillow I am out like a light..I guess I have had a lot on my heart and mind lately..the reality of life hits me in the face once again...school is approaching and I am not goin to lie I dread goin back..school has just always been so hard for me and I just get so busy and I am not myself..this summer has been such an incredible experience that I don't want it to end..but then realizing that, that would be completely selfish...Angie and Kelsey were talking about how this summer isn't coming to an end it is only the beginning and that is so true b/c we have all learned so much that now we need to take it back to where we have all come from..they both made such incredible points about how were we chosen...serisouly I constantly am asking myself..how in the world did I get the opporunity to intern at Westside but then realizing that it isn't anything that I did at all..it is all God..I know that this is all apart of his plan..something else that I was thinking about how God called Jennifer (the lady whose house we are living in) to South Africa for the summer and then how it worked out so great for us to live here in her home..I know that was all apart of God's plan! When I look at what God is doing not only in my life but in the others around me who are seeking after Him I am left with nothing to say..I honestly am in awe..with my mouth wide open..it brings a peace upon my heart and mind..I am completely humbled...So back to the whole school thing..I know I need to be open to what God wants and have a completely different mindset about it..I was thinking about the kids in Croc, Mexico and how a lot of them are too poor to be able to go to school and one of the families that we visited, the 13 year old girls' dream was to go to college and be a teacher...They dream of going to school and I dread it..Once again I was being selfish..I need to take this incredible opporunity to go to college b/c I know those kids would trade me any day...  I have been wrestling God so much with control..I obviously like to control things and God is wanting me to hand it over to him...why is it always so hard at first, when in my heart I know that everything is going to be alright...ahhh!!

So I really miss Marisha...aka Ric..I talked to her tonight and I just wanted her to be here!! I hate that she is so far away but again I am being selfish b/c I want her to come back to Kansas but realizing that she needs to do what is best for her..not me!! DUH Stesha!! :)

So I think Angie,Kelsey, Jennifer and I are going to make a music video..I don't know how thrilled about making this video they are but I am stoked... :) I am sure that once we have it all together they will be sooo glad that we made it! :)

It is late..I need sleep..hopefully I can fall asleep! Restless nights do not = fun!!